Funny Jokes

[sushmi]

Two days ago, my friend Peter ran off with my wife."
"Oh no, how long have you been friends?"
"Since two days ago."

Two clairvoyants meet. One says to the other: "You are fine, and how am I?

What did the toilet roll complain about?
"People just keep ripping me off!"

What did one wall say to the other wall?
 We'll meet at the corner.

What to do when somebody is trying to start an argument with you? Simply eat a few cookies.
They taste very nice and you can't hear anything over the crunching.

Doctor: "You must lose weight immediately! Do not take in more than thousand calories per day!"
Mrs Mummel: "Before or after meals?"

What goes through every village, over mountains, crosses rivers and deserts and yet never moves?
 A road.