Funny Jokes

[sushmi]

I was picking up my girl. Her dad looked at me very sternly and said, "I want her home by midnight, young man!" - I said, "What do you mean? You already own her home!"

Do you know why women aren't allowed in space?
To avoid scenarios like: "Houston, we have a problem!" 
"What is the problem?"
"Yeah, great, pretend like you don't know what I'm talking about!"

Doctor: "Can you describe the snake that bit you?"
Patient: "Yes. It looked like an angry rope. "

A woman in a bikini reveals about 90% of her body.... and yet most men are so polite they only look at the covered parts.

What is grey and can't fly?
 A fat pigeon

A son asks his mother: Mom, the kids are laughing at me, they say my teeth are too long!"
 Mother replies: "Oh shush, now you've scratched the whole floor again!"