Jokes short and funny

[sushmi]

What do electric cars and diarrhea have in common? - The idea, "I will make it home."

A boy and his father go together for a boys' day out at the zoo. "Daddy, I don't like how that gorilla's looking at me from behind that glass, she's quite scary!" says the boy. "Shush, Jason!!!! This is still only the ticket office!"

Boy comes up to his father, all angry, "Dad, you remember how you told me to put a potato in my swimming trunks? How you said it would impress the girls?" Father looks up, smiling, "Yeah, did it work?" The boy screams, "You could have mentioned that the potato goes in the front!"

I thought it would be nice to share a burger with this homeless guy I keep seeing on my way to work. - But that stingy jerk told me to go get my own.

An old lady comes in for her medical check-up: "Doctor Ribbit, you remember how you warned me that I should avoid going up and down stairs as much as I can?" "Yes," agrees the doctor, "the last X-rays made that very clear Mrs. Jenkins." "You know, I'm not sure it was such a great idea doctor... I have to say all that climbing up and down the rainwater downpipe is becoming quite hard!"