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Started by sushmi, Aug 26, 2020, 12:32 PM

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So a man dies, goes to Heaven, and sees St. Peter. There are many clocks surrounding him so the man asks, "What are these clocks for?" St. Peter replies, "These are lie clocks, they tick once for every lie you tell. Here we have Mother Teresa's clock. She has never lied so the clock has not moved. Honest Abe has only lied twice in his life, so it has only ticked twice." The man then asks, "So where is George Bush's clock?" St. Peter replies, "Oh, that is in Jesus' office, he is using it as a ceiling fan!"

Q: How does Albus get into Hogwarts?
A: Through the Dumble-door.

Q: What computer sings the best?
A: A Dell.

Q: Why is Peter Pan always flying?
A: Because he neverlands.

Did you hear about Monica Lewinsky becoming a Republican? The Democrats left a bad taste in her mouth.

Q: What do you call security guards working outside Samsung shops?
A: Guardians of the Galaxy.