CLEAN JOKES

[sushmi]

Police officer talks to a driver: Your tail light is broken, your tires must be exchanged and your bumper hangs halfway down. That will be 300 dollars.
Driver: Alright, go ahead. They want twice as much as that at the garage.

Why did the physics teacher break up with the biology teacher?
There was no chemistry.

Q. Why do the French like to eat snails so much?
A. They can't stand fast food.

Husband: "Oh the weather is lovely today. Shall we go out for a quick jog?"
Wife: "Hahaha, I love the way you pronounce 'Shall we go out and have a cake'!"

Optimist: The glass is half full.
Pessimist: The glass is half empty.
Mother: Why didn't you use a coaster!

I asked my daughter if she'd seen my newspaper. She told me that newspapers are old school. She said that people use tablets nowadays and handed me her iPad. The fly didn't stand a chance.