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Started by sushmi, Aug 24, 2020, 11:49 AM

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Where do we get virgin wool from?
Ugly sheep.

Doctor: "Well - Mrs. Smith, it would seem that you're pregnant."
Mrs. Smith: "Sweet Jesus, that's wonderful, I'm pregnant?!"
Doctor: "I only said that it seems so. Here's our weight loss brochure."

Why is women's soccer so rare? 
It's quite hard to find enough women willing to wear the same outfit.

Wife calls her mother: "Today I fought so much with my husband. I am coming to live with you again. 
Mother: No. He should pay for his mistake. I am coming to live with you.

I was making Russian tea. Unfortunately I cannot fish the teabag out of the vodka bottle.

"Waiter, the steak is smelling very strongly of liquor!" - The waiter backs up 3 steps and asks, "How's that now?

70. Guest at a restaurant: "I refuse to eat this roast beef. Please call the manager! "
Waiter: "That's no use. He won't eat it either."

I thought I'd tell you a good time travel joke – but you didn't like it.

So much has changed since my girlfriend told me we're having a baby. For instance my name, address and telephone number!