Funny Jokes

[sushmi]

Patient: Doctor help me please, every time I drink a cup of coffee I get this intense stinging in my eye.  -
Doctor: I suggest you remove the spoon before drinking.

Men 1845: I just killed a buffalo.
Men 1952: I just fixed the roof.
Men 2017: I just shaved my legs.

How can you tell your acne is really starting to get out of hand?
The blind start reading your face.

I was sitting in a bar one day and two really large women came in, talking in an interesting accent. So I said, "Cool accent, are you two ladies from Ireland?" One of them snarled at me, "It's Wales, dumbo!" So I corrected myself, "Oh, right, so are you two whales from Ireland?" That's about as far as I remember.

The inventor of AutoCorrect is a stupid mass hole. He can fake right off.

A naked woman robbed a bank. Nobody could remember her face.

Mama kangaroo is jumping along the bush. Suddenly, a small penguin peeks out of her pouch, vomits and says, "Damn this student exchange!