Jokes in English

[NiveRoshni]

Question: What is the longest word in the English language?
Answer: "Smiles". Because there is a mile between its first and last letters!

Teacher:What is the shortest month?
Pupil: May, it only has three letters.

Teacher: Didn't you hear me call you?
Pupil: But you said not to answer you back!

Why did the children eat their homework?
Because their teacher said it was a piece of cake.

A:Hey, man! Please call me a taxi.
B: Yes, sir. You are a taxi.

Teacher: Why are you late?
Student: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar bill.
Teacher: That's nice. Were you helping him look for it?
Student: No. I was standing on it.

Teacher: Maria please point to America on the map.
Maria: This is it.
Teacher: Well done. Now class, who found America?
Class: Maria did.

What are the three quickest ways of spreading a rumour (or gossip).
  Telegram
  Telephone
  Tell a woman

Teacher: Today, we're going to talk about the tenses. Now, if I say "I am beautiful," which tense is it?
Student: Obviously it is the past tense.