Sardarji Encyclopaedia - Read and Enjoy Depends on your free time

[Sudhakar]

Sardarji Encyclopaedia - Read and Enjoy Depends on your free time

> ** The Complete Sardarji Encyclopaedia **
> >
> >
> > Sardarji is buying a TV. "Do you have color TVs?"
> > "Sure."
> > "Give me a green one, please."
> >
> > Sardarji calls Air India. "How long does it take to fly to Amritsar?"
> > "Just a sec," says the rep.
> > "Thank you." says the Sardarji and hangs up.
> >
> > EMPLOYMENT..
> > Our Sardarji was filling up an application form for a job. He promptly
> > filled the columns titled
> > NAME,AGE,ADDRESS etc.
> > Then he came to the column "Salary Expected" : He was not sure as to
what
> > to be filled there.
> > After much thought he wrote : Yes
> >
> > CROCODILE BOOTS..
> > Sardarji proposes to a woman. She says yes if you bring me a pair of
> > crocodile boots.
> > He sets off to Africa and disappears. Finally a search is being made,
> > they find him hunting crocodiles and
> > watch him killing a huge one . He walks over the reptile, checks its
> > legs and angrily exclaims
> > "71st and *again* barefoot!"
> >
> > A sardar goes into a store and sees a shiny object.
> > He asks the clerk, "What is that shiny object?"
> > The clerk replies, "That is a thermos flask."
> > The sardar then asks, "What does it do?" The clerk responds, "It keeps
> > hot things hot and it keeps cold things cold."
> > The sardar says, "I'll take it!"
> > The next day, he walks into work with his new thermos.
> > His sardar boss sees him and asks,
> > "What is that shiny object with you?"
> > He said, "It's a thermos flask."
> > The boss then says, "What does it do?" He replies, "It keeps hot
things
> > hot and cold things cold."
> > The boss said, "Wow, what do you have in it?"
> > The sardar replies, "Two cups of coffee and a coke."
> >
> > A Sardar took an answering machine home and fixed it home somewhere in
> > Punjab,
> > but two days later disconnected it because he was getting complaints
like
> > "Saala phone utha ke bolta hai ghar pe nahin hai"
> >
> > What will a Sardarji do after taking photocopies ?
> > He will compare it with the original for spelling mistakes !!
> >
> >
> > What will a sardarji do if he wants an additional white sheet of paper
?
> > (he already has one and he wants one more..)
> > He takes a photcopy of the white paper !!!
> >
> > Once there was a meeting of all the Surd freedom fighters. They were
> > planning for free Punjab.
> > Santa Singh raised a point, "Oh..we'll get Punjab from India but how
would
> > we develop it?"
> > That was a difficult question indeed. Suddenly Banta Singh replied, "No
> > problem! we'll attack USA, it would take over us and then we would be a
> > state of USA and we'll automatically get developed." All the surds
became
> > happy on this
> > very simple solution but an old surd did not utter a single word.
Someone
> > asked him why he wasn't happy. The
> > surd replied, "OH! THAT'S ALRIGHT BUT...WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF BY CHANCE
WE
> > TAKE OVER USA ??"
> >
> > =============================================

> > *
> > Why did 18 sardarjis go to a movie?
> > Because below 18 was not allowed.
> >
> > * * * * * *
> >
> > How do you measure a Sardar's intelligence?
> > Stick a tire pressure gauge in his ear
> >
> > * * * * * *
> >
> > What do you do when a Sardar throws a hand grenade at you?
> > Pull the pin and throw it back.
> >
> > * * * * * *
> >
> > What do you do when a Sardar throws a pin at you?
> > Run like crazy....he's got a hand grenade in his mouth.
> >
> > * * * * * *
> >
> > How do you make a Sardar laugh on Saturday?
> > Tell him a joke on Wednesday.
> >
> > * * * * * *
> >
> > What is the Sardar doing when he holds his hands tightly over his ears?
> > Trying to hold on to a thought.
> >
> > * * * * * *
> >
> > Why do Sardars work seven days a week?
> > So you don't have to re-train them on Monday.
> >
> > * * * * * *
> >
> > Why can't Sardars make ice cubes?
> > They always forget the recipe.
> >
> > * * * * * *
> >
> > How did the Sardar try to kill the bird?
> > He threw it off a cliff.
> >
> > * * * * * *
> >
> > What do you call 10 Sardars standing ear to ear?
> > A wind tunnel.
> >
> > * * * * * *
> >
> > What do you see when you look into a Sardar's eyes?
> > The back of his head.
> >
> > * * * * * *
> >
> > What do you call a sardar who drinks only beer?
> > Just-beer Singh ('T' silent!).
> >
> > * * * * * *
> >
> > What do you call a sardar who has only one drink?
> > Just-one Singh.
> >
> > * * * * * *
> >
> > Why does Sardar always smile during lightning storms?
> > They think their picture is being taken.
> >
> > * * * * * * *
> >
> > Why does Sardar have "TGIF" written on their shoes?
> > Toes Go In First.
> >
> > * * * * * *
> >
> > How can you tell when Sardar sends you a fax?
> > It has a stamp on it.
> >
> > * * * * * *
> >
> > Why can't Sardar dial 911?
> > They can not find the eleven on the phone
> >
> > * * * * * *
> >
> > How do you get Sardar on the roof?
> > Tell him the drinks are on the house.
> >
> > * * * * * *
> >
> > "Oh, look at the dead bird."
> > Sardar looked skyward and said "Where, Where?
> >
> > * * * * * *
> >
> > What do smart Sardar and UFOs have in common?
> > You always hear about them but you never see them.
> >
> > * * * * * *
> >
> > Why does it take longer to build a Sardar snowman as opposed to a
regular
> > one?
> > You have to hollow out the head.
> >
> > * * * * * *
> >
> > TO LOSE WEIGHT..
> > The doctor told Sardarji that if he ran eight kilometers a day for 300
> > days, he would loose 34 kilos.
> > At the end of 300 days, Sardarji called the doctor to report he had
lost
> > the weight, but he had a problem.
> > "What's the problem?" asked the doctor.
> > "I'm 2400 kms from home."
> >
> > * * * * * *
> >
> > TRAIN TO LUDHIANA..
> > Sardars Hari Singh and Gyani Singh are in a railway station.
> > Hari Singh asks the clerk: "Can I take this train to Ludhiana?"
> > "No," answers the Railway man.
> > "Can I?" asks Gani Singh.
> >
> > * * * * * *
> >
> > A sardarji goes to the see Jurassic Park and when the Dinosaurs start
> > approaching he is cowering in his seat when his
> > friend asks him "kyon sardarji, kya baat hai? Dar kyon lag raha hai
> > cinema hi to hai"
> > Sardarji replies "Aadmi hoon aur akkal hai, pata hai ki cinema hai lekin
> > voh to janwar hai, usko kya pata "
> >
> > * * * * * *
> >
> > Sardarji is trying to commit suicide on the railway tracks and he
> > takesalong some wine and chicken with him.
> > Somebody stops him and asks "kyon bhai ye sab kyon leke baithe ho?"
> > Sardarji replies "Saali train late aati hai kahin bhook se na marjaun"
> >
> > * * * * * *
> > Once a Sardarji was travelling on a train. He felt sleepy so he gave
> > theguy sitting opposite him on
> > the train 20 rupees to wake him up when the station arrived. This guy
was
> > a barber, and he felt that for 20 rupees, the
> > sardarji deserved more service. So, when the Sardarji fell asleep, the
> > barber quietly shaved off his beard. When the station arrived, the
> > Sardarji was woken up, and he went home. Reaching home, he went to wash
> > his face, and suddenly screamed
> > when he saw the mirror.
> > Said his wife " What's the matter?" Replied he "The cheat on the train
has
> > taken my 20 rupees and woken up someone else"
> >
> >
> > * * * * * *
> >
> > Having lost his donkey a Sardarji, got down to his knees and started
> > thanking God.
> > A passerby saw him and asked, "Your donkey is missing; what are you
> > thanking God for ?"
> > The sardarji replied "I am thanking Him for seeing to it that I wasn't
> > riding the donkey at that
> > time, otherwise I would have been missing too."
> >
> > * * * * * *
> >
> > Sardarji got the 4th child. He fills data in the birth certificate
> > "Mother: Sikh. Father: Sikh. Kid: Chinese."
> > "How come you write "Chinese" when both parents are Sikh?" " Aah,
Sardarji
> > read a
> > newspaper, it says that every 4th person born on the Earth now is a
> > Chinese."
> >
> > * * * * * *
> >
> > Two dogs, Rubi and Moti, and a Sardarji were sent to the outer space.
> > The ground control issues commands "Rubi!" "Woof!" (its the barking
> > sound)
> > "Press the red button." "Woof! Woof!" "Moti!"
> > "Woof!" "Press the white button." "Woof! Woof!"
> > "Sardarji!" "Woof."
> > "Stop barking, feed the dogs and don't touch anything!"
> >
> > * * * * * *
> > * * * * * *
> > Sardarji is in Delhi. He is walking on a street which has a Clock Tower
> > when someone asks him if he wants to buy the clock on the Tower.
> > Sardarji says "Yes". "Give me a thousand rupees and I'll go get a
> > ladder."
> > The man took the thousand and disappeared. Having waited for several
hours
> > the Sardarji figured he was taken for a ride. On the next day the
Sardarji
> > is again walking along the same street and the same man asks him to buy
> > the clock.
> > "Give me a thousand rupees and I'll go get a ladder." The Sardarji gives
> > him the thousand
> > and says "I am not a fool.This time, you wait and I'll go get a
ladder."
> >
> >
> > * * * * * *
> >
> > DOUBLE DECKER BUS RIDE
> > Santa Singh and Banta Singh landed up in Bombay. They managed to get
into
> > a double-decker bus. Santa Singh somehow managed to get a bottom seat,
> > But unfortunate Banta got pushed to the top. After a while when the
rush
> > was over, Santa went upstairs to see friend Banta Singh. He
> > met Banta in a bad condition clutching the seats in front with both
> > hands, scared to death.
> > He says, "Arre Banta Singh ! What the heck's goin' on?
> > Why are you so scared ? I was enjoying my ride down there ?
> > Scared Banta replies. "Yeah, but you've got a *driver.*"
> >
> > * * * * * *
> >
> > Santa Singh with two red ears went to his doctor. The doctor asked him
> > what had happened to his ears and he answered, " I was ironing a shirt
> > and the phone rang - but instead of picking up the phone
> > I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear."
> > " Oh Dear! " the doctor exclaimed in disbelief.
> > "But ..what happened to your other ear?"
> > "The scoundrel called back."
> >
> > * * * * * *
> >
> > ----- End of Sardarji's Encyplopaedia -----

[Thilaga]

hey tat was excellent !!!