Joke.....Marriage Software - Must Read

[Sudhakar]

MARRIAGE SOFTWARE


This is what a guy wrote to a systems analyst


(Marriage Software Division):





Dear Systems Analyst,





I am desperate for some help! I recently upgraded my


program from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and found that


the new program began unexpected Child Processing and


also took up a lot of space and valuable resources.





This wasn't mentioned in the product brochure. In


addition Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other


programs and launches during systems initialization


and then it monitors all other system activities.





Applications such as "Boys' Night out 2.5" and "Golf


5.3" no longer run, and crashes the system whenever


selected. Attempting to operate selected "Saturday


Rugby 6.3" always fails and "Saturday Shopping 7.1"


runs instead.


I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background


whilst attempting to run any of my favourite


applications. Be it online or offline.





I am thinking of going back to "Girlfriend 7.0", but


uninstall doesn't work on this program. Can you please


help?





... AND THIS IS WHAT OUR ANALYST SAID:





Dear Customer,





This is a very common problem resulting from a basic


misunderstanding of the functions of the Wife 1.0


program. Many customers upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to


Wife 1.0 thinking that Wife 1.0 is merely a UTILITY


AND ENTERTAINMENT PROGRAM.


Actually, Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM designed by


its Creator to run everything on your current


platform.





You are unlikely to be able to purge Wife 1.0 and


still convert back to Girlfriend 7.0, as Wife 1.0 was


not designed to do this and it is impossible to


uninstall, delete or purge the program files from the


System once it is installed.





Some people have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or


Wife 2.0 but have ended up with even more problems.


(See manual under Alimony/Child Support and


Solicitors' Fees).





Having Wife 1.0 installed, I recommend you keep it


Installed and deal with the difficulties as best as


you can. When any faults or problems occur, whatever


you think has caused them, you must run the.........


C:\ APOLOGIZE\ FORGIVE ME.EXE Program and avoid


attempting to use the *Esc-Key for it will freeze the


entire system.





It may be necessary to run C:\ APOLOGIZE\ FORGIVE


ME.EXE a number of times, and eventually hope that the


operating system will return to normal.





Wife 1.0, although a very high maintenance programme,


can be very rewarding.


To get the most out of it, consider buying additional


Software such as "Flowers 2.0" and "Chocolates 5.0" or


"HUGS\ KISSES 600.0" or "TENDERNESS\ UNDERSTANDING


1000.0" or even Eating out without the Kids 7.2.1" (if


Child processing has already started).





DO NOT under any circumstances install "Secretary 2.1"


(Short Skirt Version) or "One Nightstand 3.2" (Any


Mood Version), as this is not a supported Application


for Wife 1.0 and the system will almost certainly


CRASH.

              LESSON.....

[blink]Be wise in your choice of programs and applications.[/blink]

[hariharan]

Really i enjoyed man ... Nice post